Authenticity

Yesterday I was on the phone having a heart-to-heart conversation with a long-time client and

friend who has been with me and my teaching journey for the past seven years. We discussed

her current goals and reminisced on the in-person studio classes I used to teach. She then said

she enjoyed and appreciated my business's evolution, not just the class offerings. She

recognized that my focus had shifted mainly from helping women get fit and burn calories to

providing a space of connection, conversation, inquiry, acceptance, understanding, and

self-care work. She pointed out that by sharing my experiences and vulnerabilities in other

areas of my life, I am providing women with an example of growth and empowering them to

attend to their self-care. The self-care that is not just with what they see in the mirror but

spiritual, mental, and emotional. She said she loved the changes that I was making.

Her words really touched me, as my forever goal is to empower women to be confident in who

they are and what they need, knowing that by doing so, they are enriching everyone else

around them. I thanked her and paused to think about how I got to this point in my career. My

shift came from life’s transitions that changed my perspective, the circle I kept, the habits I

created, and ultimately influenced the clientele I attracted. I feel that sharing what matters to me

in the present and what pushes me in the now as a mom, wife, teacher, entrepreneur, creator,

and friend is my most authentic self. I told her that I cannot justify starting my own business,

leading retreats, teaching mindful movement, and sharing my struggles with others unless I am

genuine to where I am at in life now.

I look back at my journey and there were points in my career where I stayed in one lane and

was rigid on what I represented. I started out as a belly dancer, performing in restaurants,

clubs, and events, and teaching women how to incorporate belly dance technique into their

styles of dance. A few years after I began my teaching journey, I had a manager at a gym tell

me that I needed to expand my offerings. I needed to show I could be more versatile to connect

with a broader range of women who would not necessarily sign up for a belly dance fitness

class at first glance. She said that by choosing to expand my teachings to areas outside of what

I was doing would give me opportunities to share my energy with women who want the

connection more than the technique. I initially objected. I did not want to be mainstream. I

wanted to share my love and passion for a style of dance, true to who I was and my culture.

Why ask me to veer away from my authentic self? There is no way I can be good at it. I took

some time, but I ended up listening to her, and she was right. By focusing on connecting with

women and their reasons “why” for showing up, I was able to share, teach, and empower them

to try belly dance and pretty much any other style of dance I offered. I grew my clientele but

most importantly, I was growing a community of women.

I realize now that I faced an authenticity paradox, a difficult one. Do I stick with what brought me

to the point where my belly dance classes were offered at mainstream gyms and continue in the

arena that I felt was my most authentic self, or do I recognize that authenticity is always an

evolution and that I have an opportunity to learn, grow, and evolve in who I am and what gives

me purpose?

I learned what feels authentic one day may not on another day. And that is ok. It means that my

journey has different paths and roads and maybe the outcome is not what I initially expected.

However, that does not mean I am any less of my genuine self.

The conversation with my client yesterday reminded me that we all face obstacles, challenges,

roadblocks, and insecurities as we partake in our journeys to be our best selves. What has

brought us to where we are in the present is not what we are stuck with. That is ok. We do not

have to stay that person to be authentic to ourselves. We can recognize that there are other

chapters in our journey that influence and empower us to evolve. We can accept that we will

grow, our perspectives will shfit, and we will be able to continue succeeding in who we are

regardless of whether it follows the same path as what got us here.

Do not be afraid of changes and transitions in life. Change does not have to be a bad thing. You

are not changing who you are. You are changing how you do things. It can sometimes mean

that your experience and your wisdom have now brought you new opportunities for growth and

self-exploration. It can mean that you are making a difference in more people’s lives and

continuing on your own authenticity journey. Embrace it and trust that your core self will shine.

Love,

Mariam